The number four has not always been a “number” in my head…. actually my number has always been three!!!
I was #3 in volleyball…
It’s the only uneven number I like…
I wanted to date my future husband for 3 years before we got married…
I wanted to be married 3 years before having babies…
I wanted #3 kids…
And then God threw a twist at me…. my husband wanted 4-5 kids!!!!
WHAT?!?!?! Ok… that’s a lot of little humans… and I don’t particularly like kids!!! So after the initial shock of this, I
quickly fell in step and started loving the idea. I grew up in a family of four, and although they hadn’t planned it that way and baby brother Caleb was an…ooops;-) I always LOVED it.
So that brings me to NOW… 7 months after my final baby was born… yes, it has taken this long to get back to blogging and someday I will tell all of you WHY… but for now…
The REASON for FOUR:
I like big families (I just didn’t know I wanted one myself). I don’t understand small families and the QUIET and BORING that I honestly feel it is but again not everyone is like me (which is a VERY good thing;-). I like big family gatherings. I like having so many people in my life that aren’t going anywhere. I like knowing, disagreements aside (and there are A LOT in a big family) at the end of the day… WE ARE FAMILY.
I also don’t like some of the reasons I hear for only having 1-2 kids:
1.”It’s all I can handle.” Guess what, I can’t handle 4 either, that is where God comes in.
2.”Kids are too expensive.” Agreed. But go on 1 vacation every couple years instead of yearly if you need to.
3.”I want my life back.” So do I. But news flash, my life isn’t my own. The sooner we figure that out as believers the better off we will be.
The ONLY legit reason in my mind for making whatever choice you make on family planning is:
For some people this is clear from the beginning. For some, it is not knowing from kid to kid when done is done. But for all people, it should be dependent not on our own desires, wishes, dreams, and comfort but on what God has for our lives. I never want to stand before God someday and Him ask me, “Why only 2 when I called you to 4?”
Ummm…. “because I was selfish?!?!?” I just don’t think that will hold up;-(
Or twist that around, “I wanted you to be invested here and instead you chose to have 6 kids when I called you to 2 and now you can’t devote to this like you should??”
I am NOT saying I think God still speaks CLEARLY in a loud booming voice but he does show Himself when we seek Him with our whole heart….
And for our family that meant four… not three (my comfort zone).
So… even with the HORRIBLE pregnancies I have, the bedrest, the pubic symphasis separation, the MASSIVE weight gain each and every time… we have 4 wonderful humans living in our home…
And our family is complete!
Side Note: I am NOT putting limits on God, every time I do, He makes me do something for my good and benefit… but also what I don’t want to do;-) So I am NOT saying God can’t call us to foster care, adoption, whatever… but barring a miracle of God, the biological road is done;-) hahaha
Our family is perfectly planned by God: Boy girl, Boy girl.
Boys are each 5 years apart.
Girls are each 5 years apart.
(God knows I LOVE symmetry so He gave me that;-)
Emmie Grace came into our family on June 5th, 2017 at 2:27 p.m. 27 minutes after getting my first and only epidural and only 17 minutes after meds started running through said epidural;-) Needless to say, it had only taken on about 40% effectiveness but I didn’t mind. Three kids happened naturally so this was a BREEZE!!!! This was not child birth! This was a walk in the park! The edge of the pain was taken off and it was COMPLETELY different.
I had felt all “that” before… and had absolutely no desire to feel “that” a fourth time. I also know myself well enough to know that I would FIGHT. Fight the pain, fight what my body was trying to do, and further prolong the process. I didn’t want to feel all that again and I wanted to RELAX!
My husband had no clue what was going on and neither did my nurse;-) This was the first birth were I was IN CONTROL. I was breathing, I was relaxing, I looked like I was sleeping… ALL WITHOUT AN EPIDURAL! My husband was sitting on the other side of the room on his phone oblivious to be being in actual labor!!! I felt my body doing what it was made to do, with the help of Pitocin (the WORST and most painful drug in the universe;-).
I got myself to an 8 and decided to address another fear (needles in my spinal column) from when I had meningitis and ended up with a spinal headache. I got my epidural, they made me stay on my back for 20 minutes, then I rolled onto my side and had a baby!!! No one believed me (praise God that epidural wasn’t fully effective yet!!) when I said the baby is coming… hence there being no doctor in the room and one nurse with others running in as she came out;-)
ALL I have to say is…
WOW!!! That was the BEST!!! I don’t regret for one second (ok… maybe my third birth a little bit) having my other babies naturally. I also know that God protected Miss Emmie in this birth because that can be a dangerous situation giving birth that close to an epidural placement. But I am just soooo thankful for the best LAST experience.
God answers prayers!!!!
I needed to KNOW. I needed a clear “sign”. And from the moment I found out we were pregnant with Miss Emmie Grace, I “KNEW” this was the last. The last time I would carry a baby, the last time I would give birth, the last time I would be on bedrest, the last time I would nurse a child… and I have been 100% ok with that all along.
I just LOVE how God shows up like that when we ask Him to.
So there you have it:
Our reasons for FOUR.
They are ours, they don’t have to be yours. Since Miss Emmie was born, life has been INSANE!!! And not because she is a bad baby but because four is just… insane sometimes. But we are finding our new normal. And if it is possible, I am enjoying EACH of my kids more now with four!
I’m so glad to be back with you my friends!!! I have missed connecting through blogging and I can’t wait to fill you in on all that has been happening around here the last 7 months! There is a lot of FUN stuff I will be sharing with you over the next few months!